If divorce is on your mind, consider these statistics…. nearly 3 in 1,000 people in the United States get divorced according to CDC statistics. January through March are the most common times when couples file for divorce. In Massachusetts, a little over 2 in 1,000 people get divorced, just slightly below the national average.

It is always advisable, and I counsel all clients in almost every case except for those of abuse or severe behavioral problems of the other spouse, to consider other options besides divorce first. Still, all things considered, there are times when divorce is not just unavoidable but is the best possible outcome. When divorce is the only way to proceed consider these Top Ten Divorce Tips for Massachusetts residents.

1.    Retain Custody of Your Children.

In most if not all cases, you want to keep your children living with you in the home. This means that you want to negotiate with your spouse to leave, and to do so without the children. However, if abuse or serious behavioral concerns are impacting your emotional life or that of your children, this does not apply. There are other options to ensure the safety of yourself and your children which must be exercised as soon as humanly possible – contact our offices for more information if this issue applies to you.

2. Hire an Experienced Attorney.

Divorce is a complicated process, even when few assets are involved. In the best of circumstances, it may be possible to file for divorce jointly (also known as an uncontested divorce). There are times, however, where such opportunities are not available to a couple and the divorce process is anything but easy or simple. Contact our offices to get an assessment of your situation.

3.    Staying in the Family Home.

While staying in the family home is not always feasible, or a good idea – for example, where the risk of domestic violence exists, if you have children, it may be a good idea to stay in the home. Doing so, particularly where children are involved, helps in certain custody battles and may be advantageous depending upon your circumstances.

4.    Cancel Joint Credit Cards.

If you both are the owner of a credit card it is usually advisable to cancel such cards when contemplating divorce in Massachusetts. While there are specific protections available once divorce has been filed under Massachusetts law, those protections come into play after filing and are addressed after the fact (meaning, after the problem has occurred).

5. Protect Your Valuables.

While you may like to think that your spouse would never leave you high and dry, unfortunately, that is not the experience for many divorce petitioners in Massachusetts. Often, what starts out as an agreeable enough plan between spouses to divorce degenerates into hurt feelings and anger as one spouse makes a decision that negatively impacts the other. Once the snowball effect gets into full swing, each side is often acting emotionally. With a little preplanning and forethought, it may be possible to put specific items in safekeeping.
Keep in mind that we are talking about personal property, personal valuables here. For example, you may have a valuable coin collection, or other items gifted to you from you dear Aunt Sally – keep these items somewhere safe so that they are more inclined to remain that way.

6. Keep Your Pen in Your Pocket.

Strongly resist any urge to sign anything! Although there may be exceptions to this general rule, it is a good idea to review with your Massachusetts divorce attorney any suggested marital agreement or separation agreement that is put in front of you by your spouse. While it is possible that such an agreement made prior to divorce may be fair and reasonable, it is also equally possible that it is not and by signing such an agreement you may be bound to those terms in your divorce agreement.

7.    List and Record Your Valuables/Assets.

Simply take your cell phone and record all valuables within the home, the home itself, and any other objects or assets that you think may be of value. If you are able to do this with your spouse, and give them a copy of the video file, that would be ideal. Read my article about what to do about bank accounts here.

8.    Lower Your Expenses.

Many people who file divorce in Massachusetts either don’t realize the financial impact that filing for divorce will have on their lives or do realize the negative impact and panic. One way to help manage some of the natural concern and anxiety that accompanies divorce is to plan ahead, ideally with you spouse. If you are on speaking terms you can begin together the process of cancelling utilities that are unnecessary. If you and your spouse are not speaking, it may be possible to find ways to trim expenses.

9. Get Professional Help.

In addition to the obvious need for a competent divorce attorney you are going to need to find ways to cope with the added stress caused by divorce. The Holmes-Rahe Stress Scale places divorce as the second highest stressor that a person can face, seconded only by the death of a spouse. Obviously with so much human experience rating the impact of divorce as being so high, it is of great usefulness and relief to find some way of getting help with stress.

Many clients begin psychotherapy, attend support groups, or even work within religious or other spiritual support that they seek out or already have. I highly recommend taking advantage of these types of help as the difference between doing this solo or getting assistance can make all of the difference it how traumatic the entire process might feel.

10.     At the First Hint of Danger – Contact the Police.

Domestic violence, it goes without saying, is a very serious issue in Massachusetts and a real concern for some when going through the divorce process. The police are the first choice when you are in immediate need of assistance, when in fear of domestic violence regarding you self or your family, or when you don’t know where to turn. Your local police department will be instrumental in assisting with a restraining order or for other concerns. Also, calling your divorce attorney is also a very good idea, as they can also be instrumental in helping you file a restraining order in Massachusetts. Lastly, the Domestic Violence Hotline is an option.

DISCLAIMER: The information provided in the pages and posts of this website are for general informational purposes only. The information presented on this site is not legal advice, and no attorney-client relationship is formed by the use of this site.